"That dope is mine..." And Other Things Residents Admit...

It was right after lunch, and I was preparing to do my afternoon bathroom rounds. I approached a resident who still had her lunch tray pulled over her chair. I moved said lunch tray in order to roll her into the bathroom...

Resident: "That dope is mine..."

Me: "Say what now??" *wonders what else she has stashed away in that sweater...*

Resident: "That dope...it's mine..." *points to diet Coke on lunch tray*

Riiiiiiight. Win for archaic southern terminology...Today was one of those nutty days where you just get too much information from some residents.

Resident: "It's been really runny when I shit today..."

Me: "I know this...I've been the one changing your briefs..."

You've had those days before, right? The ones where it just feels like everyone needs to tell you the obvious? Or the intimate details of what's happening regardless of how well they know you? In this case, it doesn't ever bother me. I know my residents very well. Most of them, I know better than their own families do. ((For some, we ARE their family.)) I know them down to things like how Ms. Bobbie likes her make-up laid out on the sink before I get her up and how she will always want her cell phone, her glasses, her billfold, and a pack of peanut butter crackers (opened) sitting next to her in her wheel chair when she gets up in the mornings.

It's because they know they can tell you anything that they feel they need to tell you EVERYTHING.

Resident: *farts so loud you check to make sure the toilet didn't blow up* "I THINK I'M HAVING A BOWEL MOVEMENT!!!!"

Me: *making the bed outside the bathroom* "Really?? Cuz I was just about to go ask the nurse to bring you some prune juice..."

That openness can be quite humorous ((and is pretty much the basis of this blog)), but it's because of this openness that bonds form so quickly. Bonds of mutual trust and love. And with those bonds come privileges. Privileges such as being the only one a certain resident allows to help her dress because, "no one else can do it like you do."

You get to celebrate the little victories...like pushing your resident who was a stroke victim to bathe herself even though one side is almost paralyzed...and then teaching her to stand and use the toilet instead of the bedside commode...and then hearing her say, "That's the first time since my stroke I've actually sat on a toilet...I've wanted to learn, but you're the first one to take the time to believe I could do it and show me how."

These little things keep you going no matter how crappy your life is. Laughing with them, crying with them...just seeing them live...it keeps what's important right in front of your face. It keeps you humble and makes you appreciate every second of your time on this Earth.

It's hard some days, both physically and mentally, but I would never trade my Life With the Residents...

One of These Days...

Today, I was taking care of...let's call her Jane. Now, Jane is a sweet little lady who rarely ever speaks. Instead, she's content to quietly watch the goings on around her from her little chair. She can stare holes in you, but it is a rare occasion to hear her speak or even have her react to what you say in any manner.

Well, I've finally won Jane over, and I can get her to giggle at any given moment. Today was no different, but today was odd. Today, while I was bathing her, Jane was staring me down as per our norm, and occasionally she would smile at me...

Another thing I should tell you about Jane is that she is one of those ladies you can tell is just riddled with mischief. That little grin of hers hides years worth of planning on evil schemes.

It's always the quiet ones...

Anyways, back to the story, Jane was watching me carefully as I washed her feet and legs, and suddenly, she spoke. The sound of her voice startled me since she's always silent.

"One of these days..." she started with that little half grin, "I'm gonna bite you."

I was a little taken aback by this statement, thinking I was hurting her or something, but no...it seemed to be just a passing thought. I wished for a bit of clarification, though so I asked her why she was going to bite me.

To this, she simply shrugged, and replied, "I'm just gonna bite you."

"Okaaaay..." I nodded, watching her smirk, "Thanks for the warning..." It was then that another thought crossed my mind, "By the way...I'm keeping your teeth until I'm finished bathing you."

This sent her into a fit of the giggles.

It really has been crazy around here today. I had another lady sitting over by the window squealing, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" All. Day. Long. And another crying because we wouldn't let her sit in the chair she wanted because it belonged to someone else. I also added 8 marks to my journal counterpart to this blog on the page tallying the number of times I hear an old lady say curse.

I don't know if it's the moon's phase or just something in the water, but it's crazy around here...guess it's just another day in my Life With the Residents.

Life With the Residents

So, I recently started working at my local nursing home. It was a job I knew I would love, but I had no IDEA what a ride I was in for.  From people undergoing therapy to those with dementia you wouldn't believe, my coworkers and I are there to take care of every need they may have. Most days are hectic, some days are saddening, some days are crazy, and every day is meaningful. Here, you'll get a play by play of the madness and everything crazy the people say and do...((without their real names, of course...HIPAA and all...)) because this...is my Life With The Residents.